By Mary Kingsley
Granted, it was not a glamorous place to rekindle my sex life – a low budget motel – to avoid the logistical difficulties we both had at our homes. You don’t usually reach our age without children or whatever other complications we all have. But it was still exciting, and perhaps a bit more so because of the slightly seedy locale.
My soon-to-be lover and I had met a few months back, but only got a chance to have a real conversation a couple of weeks before, and we hit it off right away. His eyes sparkled with genuine interest, and we really enjoyed talking.
Follow that up with some friendly texting, getting more and more personal, until he finally just came right out and told me that he was interested in me. I was blown away.
My recent experiences with men had been less than satisfactory – most seemed reluctant to get involved, and scared of any personal revelations, much less emotional entanglements. But he just came right out and told me he was attracted to me.
Apparently there is no greater aphrodisiac than forthright declarations of desire! I was intrigued. And aroused.
We met for a normal “date,” hugged, and had a long talk.
Outside as we walked along, I decided that I didn’t want to wait for the uncomfortable end-of-date “will we kiss?” moment (Anybody see Annie Hall?), so I just grabbed him and went for it.
Turns out that’s a good way of letting a fellow know you’re interested.
So we started talking about sex. And sharing via text some of our desires (“sexting,” as the kids call it).
We both shared that it had been a while. In my case, a long while. We both admitted that we were nervous, but willing to give it a go. I expressed how awkward I might feel.
“Let’s feel awkward together,” he suggested. What a guy!
So we set the date, and I went through my preparations. (As I talked about in Love after 50? Yes, Please (Part I)).
I had a lot of ideas about things I wanted to do with this man and I hoped I had the nerve to do them.
It turns out that with age comes some good things. Despite the ravages of time, babies and gravity, my body seemed to be desirable to him. This man had realistic expectations for people our age.
The other good thing was that I had far fewer inhibitions about what I was willing to do and talk about. I was not afraid to ask for what I wanted.
After arriving at the motel and a bit of welcoming canoodling, I wanted to change into my outfit and impress him with my preparations. Unfortunately, the sink and mirror were located not IN the bathroom, but just outside it!
So much for my big plans of making sure I looked perfect, head to toe. I had to wing it.
I put on my black slinky lingerie. Just wearing something that made me look sexy also made me FEEL sexy, both desired and full of desire. I headed out of the little bathroom.
My mani-pedi looked great. But I still felt nervous.
Then I saw his face. Big smile. He looked me up and down.
“Wow,” he said.
I was thrilled. I stepped forward. But instead of heading straight into the kiss-and-grope mode,
I wanted to let him know that I had an adventurous side.
I had asked him to get a bucket of ice. Presumably this was for our drinks, as we’d both brought snacks and adult beverages. But I had other ideas. I asked him to grab an ice cube and directed him to follow my lead.
It turns out that years of physical inactivity had allowed me plenty of time for exercising my imagination. I enjoyed letting my wild side come out of hibernation. It was remarkably exciting if a bit chilly!
I was not sure what possessed me to be so bossy and daring, but I loved it. And, very clearly, so did he.
The rest of the night was very memorable. Not perfect, mind you – there were some awkward moments. But overall, it became clear that we both wanted the same things: love, sex, affection, and fun. And those things were all within our grasp.
So I encourage you, Sisters – take charge of your sex lives!
Wear things that make you feel sexy and good.
Ask for what you want.
Chances are, you will get a very good response!
Can this level of excitement last once we’ve had a chance to get used to each other? Find out in Sex after 50? The Drought (Part III).
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